Staying Home
I am running late for school. (University) I also have a doctor’s appointment at 2 pm, so will have to leave school early. But I need an excuse for that, and can’t find anyone to write it. I really only need an excuse for one class, but now that I’m running late, I am considering just staying home all day, even maybe skipping the doc appointment. I am in my car, driving toward the University, and also thinking through driving to town for the doctor appointment, how complicated it would be, time wise, wondering how many classes I might miss, wondering if it matters. I decide to go home. If I need an excuse, it may as well be for both of them.
I’m in my apartment, have been living there for several months when I come across a big storage room where a number of boxes and items are, things that I either forgot about or didn’t use in my apartment. I wonder what to do with it all, realize there are things here I didn’t need to keep, won’t use. A few other things I’m not sure of, I could maybe use them someday, but not in my current apartment, there isn’t enough room.
I start going through things, setting aside what to throw away, and what I might use at some point. There are a number of small appliances, like a blender and an electric can opener. I already have a can opener, can’t think what to use the blender for. A few other gadgets I set aside, not sure about. There are big shelves and construction materials, apparently for a separate office, corner desk, things I would use if I had an extra room, which I don’t. I remember my dream room for that, feel a little sad, but realize I don’t need it, and my current setup is just right for me now. Somewhat reluctantly, I set aside the boards and shelves and desk pieces. There are a number of un-labeled boxes to go through, and I start on them. The first one is full of food – food that should have been refrigerated for the most part. I go through it discarding what needs to be thrown away, mostly ham and other kinds of lunch meat, some cheeses. I remember this was all stuff from my old refrigerator, to be eaten the first days I was here. I wonder what else is in the other boxes, maybe some things I can use.
Comment:
Hmm… Some interesting thoughts come to mind. I did have doctor appointments recently, but the theme here seems to be a struggle between learning and creativity v/s health issues. Stale mate of sorts, as each is important. I don’t want to miss class, but at the same time, can’t seem to avoid it if the health needs are attended to. Do I need an excuse to do either? Or am I just using my health as an excuse to avoid learning and creativity? I do want to be creative, but have lost track of the programs I use on the computer, and literally do need to relearn some of them, but a recent fall and dealing with pain make it difficult. Or is that just an excuse?
In the dream I choose neither. Kind of like my life right now, though I am attending to the health issues, I still don’t seem to be accessing any creativity. Maybe I need to “sort through” my priorities. What was once a priority, (desk, computer, creativity) is less important. No extra room in my apartment/life? But there is room for some of it, just not what I had planned.
NOTES:
Setting: in car, in apartment, extra room
People: myself
Props: car, boxes, desk items, food, etc.
Actions: driving, going to school, going to doctor, making decisions, sorting through things
Snippets of thought: school (learning) v/s doctor (healing), choices, excuses, organizing, setting aside dream office, extra food – extra weight?
tuit dreams 