I am visiting my Mom in Eden, the town she grew up in. It’s different than I remember, a bit more modern, many more accommodations. I’m staying with her while my house is being built in another place, another town. The top floor and the roof are still under construction.
I had to come visit because the decisions about the house were making me so confused and tired – visits with architects, builders, so much responsibility and so many decisions to make. I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I came to stay with my Mom for awhile, relaxing and getting away from it all.
My Mom seems so well, so welcoming. She isn’t pressuring me in any way to make a decision about the house. Everything is taken care of here in Eden – no fuss about meals, or worry about finances. No worries about anything really, just a wonderful sense of peace.
I notice when visiting the town that so much has changed. It’s no longer the tiny west Texas town with one main street and not much else. There are modern homes being built all around, shopping for all, apartments being built, a real community, even with a Library. I feel so good here, so at home.
I am thinking about moving here – I mention it to my Mom, and she says I could easily find a home, if I chose it. I know that in Eden, there is no worry. It’s not just being with my Mom, but everyone in Eden can have all things taken care of, no worries about finances or food or anything at all. I feel drawn to the idea. It is a beautiful place, and feels so right…
I woke from this dream in the middle of the night, still feeling the comfort, the longing for peace and harmony that I felt in Eden. Then I started to realize I was awake, and remembered my mom is passed away, and my first association was that the Eden in the dream was about dying.
Eden really is the name of the town my mom was born and raised in – I remember the old main street, a small row of stores all together, such an adventure to go there when I was a kid and marvel at how old everything seemed, how much history still lingered there. I can remember a kind of musty wood smell in the hardware shop, and five and dime shop – wood all around, scuffed wooden floors, the scent permeating the air mixed with that of another dusty, musty scent.
This Eden, however, was all about keeping things comfortable, small, cozy, yet welcoming. The sense of peace and release were so wonderful – something I haven’t felt in awhile, not really. I am at peace with many things in my life, but this was a deeper peace. The kind of peace that cannot be attained in this world.
My current situation is somewhat stressful, trying to decide what to do about selling the house, and eventually moving in to an apartment. Though I try to accept things as best I can, I know that living alone will be a challenge, and I will need to either find an assisted living situation, or arrange some help for certain tasks that I can no longer do, due to physical constraints.
Perhaps this dream was just meant to be a respite in that stress, a moment of calm and ease, a moment of rest for the psyche. Or perhaps it’s a desire to escape all the complexity of making decisions. I don’t wish to die, but I do wish things could be resolved, that i didn’t have so many decisions to make.
It was wonderful to see my mom again, and to see her so much like the woman I remember, and yet more than that – at peace, and living in joy.
Feelings: stressed, confused, relaxed, no worry,
Actions: thinking about a home build, taking it easy, visiting Mom
Snippets of thought: getting away from stress, confusion, a respite, renovations, responsibility, fatigue